Foreword - A word of warning
Nothing has so divided me as the
question of whether to include this short story or not on my blog.
As mentioned previously, it is a short story written before this blog
began and deals with something wholly unpleasant.
I like to consider this blog is overall
fun and positive. The story that follows is by necessity neither,
and quite dark throughout.
The story came about as I wanted to
write a companion piece to my story on Wernher von Braun by talking
about the life of Sergei Korolev, his Soviet rival. However I soon
realised it was going to be just too similar, and I'd “been there,
done that”.
One detail of Sergei's life which
fascinated me was about his time in the Russian gulag. At the time,
Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn had just died, and so it led me to do a lot of
research around them. I was shocked at how brutal they were, they
were essentially death camps almost on a par with the concentration
camps of the Nazis (they didn't have the mass exterminations, but
life expectancy was still brutally short).
I'd also seen a documentary about
Joseph Stalin, talking about the terror and censorship during his reign, and how
anyone he felt threatened by would be written and painted out of
history, and sent to either the gulag prison camps or the firing
squad. George Orwells world of Nineteen Eighty-Four would have a similar concept
called “vapourising” where traitors became an “unperson”, written out of history.
And so the idea came about for a story
about an artist who'd censored and written so many faces finding
themselves in the gulag, waiting their turn to be written out of
history ...
The Man On The Cutting Room Floor
The bitter
wind rattled and spat through the gaps in the wooden walls. The hut
they lived in was poorly put together, but what else could Siberian
slaves expect? They weren’t here to be comfortable, but to be
punished and through their suffering redeem their crimes by making
glorious State strong.
Welcome to
the gulags of Siberia.
Nikolai
Sevnik, scuttled across the room of the slave
barracks like a rat, looking for his beloved loose floorboard. He
found it, teased it up, and retrieved his personal possessions – a
few scraps of paper and the smallest remainder of a pencil. It had
been another exhausting day.
He
pocketed his possessions and took his food into a corner to eat. It
had been a bad day in the mines, and he’d failed to collect his
quota of ore. This was punishable in the gulags with half rations.
That was a joke, as at the best of time a full ration was never
enough to combat the hunger after a twelve hour shift in the mines.
It
had been a bad day indeed – three of the fingers of his left hand
had been broken in a rockslide, and yet he’d been the lucky one. A
couple of other slaves had been caught underneath and had been
instantly crushed – no-one had tried to rescue them, it was not the
Siberian way. A doctor who’d reeked of vodka had inspected him,
tied dirty cloth around his hand and told him “you
are healthy, go back to work”.
Nikolai had tried to
complain about his rations, saying about the landslide and how hard
it had been to work with a broken hand. One of the guards jammed the
but of his rifle into Nikolai’s stomach, then kicked him in the
head as Nikolai bend over in pain.
“You
lazy Trotskist. You want to eat you must work first!” The guard
had spat at him. Nikolai shouldn’t have been surprised. Mercy and
compassion were in short enough supply in Russia in these days of
Stalin. But in the Siberia workcamps, they were non-existent.
Nikolai
started into his food. The small chunk of bread was black and stale,
and he had a small dish of watered down porridge. Nikola had lost
many of his teeth since his arrival at Dzhezkazgan, so dunked his
bread into his porridge, hoping to soften it a little before chewing
it.
He
took up the pencil in his good hand. His handwriting wasn’t as
steady as it once was, the constant use of a pick these last 18
months caused constant tremors in his hand. Every night he wrote a
little – it was his only way to remember that he’d had a life
outside of Dzhezkazgan, a life outside the slave camp with it’s
barbed wire, sentry towers and harsh weather.
He’d
fallen from grace – so many here had. Before this, he’d been an
artist in Lenningrad, a good one. But his skills had caught the eye
of important members of the Communist party. They needed good
artists to tell the bold story of how comrade Stalin was changing
Russia for the better. People needed to understand how much their
government were doing for them. The Communist party needed bold art,
posters, postcards, books to help teach and indoctrinate the people.
In
the past, Nikolai had always struggled as an artist, having to
supplement it with work in various factories when needed. But for
the first time he had found himself comfortable with regular work.
It had been a happy time – he, his wife and their little girl Ania
had moved into a decent apartment.
Then
came the first of the “special
assignments”. His work was always
brought over to his apartment come studio by his party handler
Sergei. Nikolai never learned his last name – but he was a
powerful figure in the Communist party, that much he knew.
Sergei had
arrived, and seemed unusually reticent to hand over the wrapped
assignment.
“What is
it comrade?” Asked Nikolai. Sergei’s nervous disposition had
piqued Nikolai’s curiousity. Sergei fumbled hesitantly with his
moustache whilst Nikolai tore open the brown paper – this was
something new … a large photograph of an open air speech. “I see
it’s comrade Lenin”, he observed.
“Yes,
yes …” Muttered Sergei, as if trying to put something delicately
which could be a matter of life and death. “Lenin is giving a
rousing speech to the troops in 1920. It’s an important photograph
for the state … the problem is that man!” He pointed nervously
to a face nearby Lenin, Nikolai recognised it. “The traitor
Trotski”, explained Sergei.
“Yes the
traitor.” Mused Nikolai half-heartedly. How quickly times change.
Under the days of Lenin, Trotski had been his right hand man and
natural successor to his legacy. But since the death of Lenin and
the rise of Stalin, Trotski had been denounced a traitor of the
revolution, and had fled in fear of retribution from Stalin’s
regime.
“It’s
a great shame he’s there …” Sergei continued in a fake
empathic voice. Nikolai felt himself being slowly and skilfully
backed into the corner. “The presence of such a traitor in such a
historic picture. It undermines not only Lenin, but the whole
Revolution. If only he could be … removed from it?”.
Nikolai
knew where this was going. He carried it over to the window where he
could get a better look, and held it close to his face. “It would
be difficult … “
“But can
it be done?”
“I don’t
see why not. Might take some time though …”
Sergei
gave out a huge sigh of relief like a condemned man just pardoned.
“Thank you comrade … the People will not forget this”.
It wasn’t
something Nikolai had tried before – canvas and paper had been his
usual medium. He managed to get some other photographs to experiment
with, calling in a few favours with a friend who developed
photographs in his apartment. He tried using brushes, but the
brushwork was always too obvious. It was only with airbrushing in
subtle, small jets that the work appeared seamless. It was almost
fascinating how in little puffs the face of the traitor slowly fade
away, until at last hidden from the eyes of history.
Nikolai
managed it, and a week later was handing over a new, airbrushed copy
of the same photo, sanitised for the good of the Revolution. Sergei
was pleased “this is quite an achievement, you have the thanks of
the State for this” he beamed, it will not be forgotten.
And that
was that thought Nikoli. He was sure it would be a one-off. But he
was soon to be proved wrong. It the purges and the terror, it became
a mini-industry. More were to follow, others Nikoli had never heard
of. So many criminals and traitors to the state, and he removed them
one by one from history. He called them the men on the cutting room
floor, edited from the film reel of history.
It got
that he barely was surprised anymore. One week he’d be reading
about one man’s heroics in Pravda, and then airbrushing him from
history barely a month later. You couldn’t help but be cynical
about it, but Nikolai knew to voice it would be a death sentence. It
was almost impossible to keep up with who was hero and who was
traitor at any given moment.
And the
crimes of these people. One person was charged and sent to Siberia
for burning down a State building a month ago. Yet Nikolai had
passed that very same building to find it very much standing and
unscathed.
It was
like insanity – just an accusation was enough. There was never any
shortage of crimes you could be charged with. And evidence was never
really an issue, everyone who appeared in the court was always found
guilty.
Every
other week you heard of another traitor being denounced in
Lenningrad. It felt almost like a quarter of the city had been
shipped off now, so many windows boarded up. Everyone was terrified
of their neighbour, and quick to denounce them as a traitor before
they themselves were accused.
One week,
a new handler arrived to meet Nikolai, explaining “What a terrible
business about comrade Sergei”. It came as no surprise. Nikolai
did not even bother to ask the man’s name or the fate of his old
handler.
Yet
somehow he thought if he remained useful and kept quiet, he’d be
safe from the terror sweeping the country. He was wrong.
They came
for him in the night, and they didn’t just take him. They took
them all, him, his wife, his daughter. He had stood before the judge
the next morning charged with manufacturing Troskist propaganda.
He’d argued his loyalty was unswerving, and he’d been working
tirelessly for the state.
His first
commission was brought out. He was charged with doctoring a photo of
Lennin talking to the troops, and doctoring it to look like the
traitor Trotsky was present. Nikolai had tried in vain to argue that
was the original photograph. But the judges had already made up
their mind – 20 years in Siberia for him, and all the traitors in
his family who’d conspired with him.
He never
even got to see his wife or his little 13 year old Ania at the trial.
They were kept elsewhere. He was loaded on a train for Siberia that
very afternoon. A train of the doomed traitors. So many of them
crammed in there, it was crushing, the air was foul and there was no
water. Half of them died on the way, and only at their destination
had the living been separated from the dead.
They’d
been made to carry out the dead, and pile their bodies up. Some of
the guards looted through the pockets of the dead, looking for
anything of value. And then at gunpoint the living prisoners buried
the dead.
Nikolai
remembered how nervous he’d felt working at gunpoint. It was
amazing how quickly you got used to it. These days you’d hear a
gunshot, and hold your breath, and if you were okay you wouldn’t
even look around to see who’d aroused the anger of the guards. You
kept your head down, and tried to not be noticed.
Life in
Lennongrad wasn’t always roses – there’d been times when work
was scarce and food was scarer they’d starved. His first child, a
son was stillborn. He’d known his share of misery. But it was
nothing to the misery of the gulags.
Each day
they were marched to the copper mines in the morning. It paid not to
be the last or to stumble in the word party, as the guards would
often shoot anyone who lagged. Then someone in the work detail would
be chosen to bury the dead.
There was
no empathy left now, you had to survive, each time a gun went off,
you just thanked that it wasn’t you. You carried on. Nikolai
hated being chosen to bury the dead. It meant he’d be late to the
mines. You only got full food rations when you achieved your quota,
and that was difficult enough. When you’d started the day digging
a grave through the frozen mud, you were already behind.
The sheds
in which they were kept offered poor protection against the Siberian
winters, they were more to confine the prisoners than offer luxury.
There was little fuel, and the blankets thin, threadbare and lice
ridden. You only had the clothes you arrived with. Sometimes if you
were lucky you’d be asked to bury someone with better shoes than
you, and you could swap as long as you were quick about it. But
generally they weren’t. Your clothes would tear and reek, but
you’d go on as best you could. You couldn’t complain, because
there was no-one here who cared.
Going on
as best you could was all you could hope for. 20 years in Siberia
when you’re slowly being starved. Everyone knew it would be a
death sentence. You knew that after your first week.
There were
few things in life to look forward to. But at least there were women
here. They would arrive separately from the men – he’d never
seen his wife or little Ania arrive, and in his heart he hoped they’d
died on the train rather than endure this living hell. Being reduced
to little than an unwelcome rat in a farmhouse, scurrying, always
scurrying and trying to avoid being exterminated at any moment.
The women
would arrive and be stripped naked, paraded for the attentions of the
guards. Any they liked the look of would be assigned “special
duties”. Sometimes the guards would feel the need to inspect any
woman who took their liking, handling them roughly like a buyer at a
cattle market inspects a potential buy. The women were all new, not
knowing the way of the gulag life. Occasionally one would resist
this treatment. When this would happen, the bullet the guards would
put in her head acted as a warning to the others. You never saw
another women resist the guards once they knew where it got them.
As a man,
if you worked well and met your quotas, you were allowed “personal
time” with a woman once a month. It’d been four months since
Nikolai had last earned that privilege. She’d been a young girl,
no more than the age of Ania. Nikolai never spoke to her as he used
his privileges with her, her trembling skeletal form beneath him as
he excised his lust. There was no tenderness between them or any of
the women – how could there be in this savage place.
These days
he didn’t even have enough energy to think of being aroused. Lust,
love, comfort, they were almost forgotten things, like something in a
tale that happened to another people.
The lamps
were doused for the evening, and one by one the prisoners settled for
the night, knowing another brutal day waited for them tomorrow.
Nikolai hid his possessions back under the floorboard, and tried to
sleep as best he could, but the pain in his fingers was too much for
even his exhaustion. He woke to see his fingers in his dirty
bandages nothing more than dirty black swollen sausages, that he
could barely move.
His work
detail were collected, and he grabbed his tools, but his left hand
could not hold them, and they kept slipping from his grasp. One last
time he bent down to pick them up, watching the others walk away to
the mine.
It was
just no use. He was falling behind. It was his time, and there was
no use fighting it any more.
He heard
the guard behind him, heard them cock their rifle.
He closed
his eyes and whispered to himself “I’m coming home Ania”.
He never
heard the shot that followed.
A prisoner was fetched to
bury the mornings dawdler. He’d seen the dead man around, but
didn’t know his name. Would it make any difference if he did? He
was disappointed that the dead mans clothes were too worn to salvage,
and his shoes no better.
He
lowered the dead man into the grave, and shovel by shovel, obscuring
the face and identity of whoever this was. As Nikolai had buried the
faces in photographs, erasing them with his airbrush, now it was
Nikolai’s turn to become the man on the cutting room floor, his
name and story obscured for all history.
For when their names have been
removed from all records, when their faces have been painted over and
their family and friends killed in obscurity. When all this is done,
who remembers the men on the cutting room floor?
While dark, this is some very interesting writing. Your description of Nikolai gathering his pencil and paper to write as he eats his very meager dinner was vivid and eery because it's not unlike something I would do, only I live in a cushy apartment, write on a computer and have good food to eat. The fact that Nikolai dies at the end makes me wonder if there isn't more to the story. Will we find out what happened to Ania or his wife? Or has someone re-discovered his history. There are many places you could take this. Good job!
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