An ending of sorts...

Today, when I publish this, will be quite a milestone.

A few people since 2017 have asked me why I don't post as much about tech stuff. Is everything okay? Yes, things have been pretty good.

The truth is that I have in fact been busier than ever with writing. It's just not been with technical things.

Back in 2003, I was going through a rough time. Wanting an escape of some form, I came up with an idea for a book about a girl named Melody Harper who moves to the Moon, and the culture shock which waited for her. I tried several times to write it, my friend Violet loved what she saw, but I'd lose focus. I really got the momentum going in 2009, but wouldn't you know, moving to New Zealand interrupted my flow.

On the 1st March 2022, the book, Melody Harper's War will be published, and will realise the last of four books in the Melody Harper series. Bittersweet doesn't come close to explaining my feelings right now.

I'm relieved to reach the finish line, but also incredibly sad. Because Melody Harper and her cast have been an important place of refuge during an emotionally tough time.

So I had all these notes and the first 40 pages written, but it was the events of 2016 which got me writing again. There was something about the rise of Trump which was unnerving, and I found myself writing the first book, Melody Harper's Moon to really challenge a world of extremism that I was seeing grow around me (let's not forget Brexit, the move which pushed me to identify more strongly than ever with being a New Zealander).

You might remember the day Trump was elected, and I posted "Sophie Says Buckle Up" as a call within myself and others to resist. To not give up hope. To stand up for what was right, more importantly now than ever before.

I actually wrote some of the last parts of my first book, Melody Harper's Moon, on the way to my first Agile Testing Days on that loooong plane ride. I remember using inspiration from conversations here and there for my characters. I finished my first draft in late 2016 and got beta readers onto it in 2017. With it edited, I sent it around publishers for over a year but didn't get interest, ending up going down the self-publishing route.

I wasn't surprised - it is a book that sits in an odd niche. And those who love it, really love it. But a lot of people can't really be bothered. I have to admit, even though I love what I've achieved to bits, I'm a little embarrassed about it. Perhaps because I put a little too much of myself as a person in there. And a little because the book series is best described as a science-fiction romance at heart, and no-one is more surprised at that than me. And no-one defends it for being this more than I.

Nevertheless, in 2018 I wanted to keep going, to find out if writing a single book was a fluke. I'd left a lot of threads loose at the end (one reviewer was annoyed about this), and I wanted to keep going and find where they'd lead. [I know, you'd think as the author, I'd know, but writing is a voyage of discovery, after all]

On advice from a friend who was an agile coach, I talked about how hard writing book one had been - mainly as I was writing a book while doing a lot of other writing projects (like this blog). They advised me to focus on my book, because multitasking robbed me of achieving, not only slowed things down but caused distractions.

They were right (and hence why my regular posting dried up).

Over 2018 and going into 2019, writing fiction became more and more second nature to me. That thing they say 'if you keep practicing you get better'.

With challenging times during the Trump presidency and work, the idea that a manuscript was waiting at home for me to pour myself in was a real safe haven. It was a place to divert myself from other troubles. It became a place of sanctuary for me.

And in 2020, this was about to become a life-saver!

2019 of course closed with news of a new, deadly virus coming out of China. By March 2020, this was something the world could no longer ignore, and Covid-19 became a global pandemic. It became very real when my son became ill in early March. Although we've had a relatively sheltered time of it, I've still lost a teacher and a friend over this over in the UK. I know a lot of school friends whose own parents didn't make it.

Part of our defense against the pandemic here in NZ was the use of lockdowns. And for several months, my day would consist of sitting in one room for eight hours a day to work. Then moving to a different room in the house to relax for the rest of the day. And I was lucky compared to many coworkers to have two rooms and allow myself to mentally switch.

Lockdowns were necessary, but they were hard. There were times I felt claustrophobic and shut-in (even though I could, in fact, go outside). And the anxiety - particularly checking infection rates in the US and the UK where I had friends and people I loved. I would wake up at 3am and feel compelled to check.

It's no surprise the big growth word of 2020-1 is 'doomscrolling' which summarises our morbid need to find the latest news, knowing it will be terrifying.

Writing came to my aid. At the end of such tough days, I could escape into my writing. In a quirk of fiction, book 3 (which I was writing) takes place a lot on Earth, where Melody and her partner return to Earth so that Melody can have the baby she's carrying for friends.

It would feel surreal at times writing about going shopping, to a cafe, to lectures all the while knowing these things were things we couldn't do. It allowed me to live vicariously through my characters, as well as channel some of my anxiety through Julia (Melody's partner) who had always lived on a colony on the Moon and found the concept of 'walking outside' (without a spacesuit) disorientating.

I found this wonderful quote that my friend, Faiza Yousuf, shared, which really sums everything up,

It says something of how important this process got to me - books 1 and 2 (pre-Covid) took 18 and 15 months to write respectively. Books 3 and 4 written during Covid took about 8 months each to write, including substantial editing.

Sadly, the timing of  my book release (planned way back in 2021) couldn't be worse! 

In book 4 (and mild spoilers) the Lunar colony declares its independence, and a war breaks out between the two superpowers of the fiction era over who will take control, with an invasion impending.

There's a poignant line in the book which makes me think of what's happening in the Ukraine, "I'm terrified that your friends think they're prepared to take on what's coming and are treating it lightly. I've learned the most brutal way imaginable that you don't give a weapon to someone who thinks that war's a game, because it's not. And the end result is always more horror than you can stomach."

In the book, the Lunar colonists do prevail. But it comes at a terrible price. Then again, doesn't war always come with a terrible and unnecessary price tag?

Since finishing in December, I've started work on a new technical book, The Scrum Tester: A Survival Guide which is out with beta readers, and I expect to launch via LeanPub.

I'm interested to know how what's helped you during Covid and lockdown. Any hobbies? Have you struggled like me and so many with the anxiety?

Drop me a line on Twitter... 

Bracing for Omicron to hit my country, I'm currently working on a new novella which is more upbeat, and essentially a buddy-movie-as-a-book about a halfling conwoman who'd stuck with the half-orc she steals a sword from.

That, and I really need to paint some Games Workshop figures. If the hobby's good enough for Henry Cavill...

But for right now, it's goodbye to this lady (the titular Melody Harper). Thanks for being a companion in tough times...